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Okay, brothers and sister gather round (guitar strumming in the background). We’re going to do some singing today, and some remembering. See, a little while ago, in a place called Ireland, a little angel was sent to us. A hamster, tiny and deformed…yes, children the poor little soul had only three legs and was the runt of the litter. Why, children, that means he couldn’t get enough food, and it meant he was hungry and in pain. Now when the blessed little hamster was discovered by those charged with his care…well, children, they took him and threw him in a stream. No, no need for tears, now. They thought they were doing the right thing. They thought they were being kind to the little fellow, tossing him in an angry dangerous torrent of churning water. Our little friend was never heard from again. But when I need to see his beautiful smile, and kind, happy laugh, well, children, I just look in the one place where the hamster still lives…in my heart, children…now sing along…

Oh, three legged hamster, are you floating still?

Are you carried by currents, held against your will?

Oh three legged hamster, are you overcome with pain?

Do you still love humanity, will you come again?

Oh three legged hamster, your eyes so deep and blue

We all are so sorry, for what my sister did to you

Oh three legged hamster, your coat a shaggy brown

When the rains come tumbling, you will surely drown

And the hamster sings’

people don’t despair

For I am everywhere

Killed for being different

But I didn’t care

For my soul is perfect

My life a lilting song

I still love all people

Though I didn’t last long

And the poet cries

The hamster, a symbol

Of what is true and fair

A call for the children

For love everywhere

His memory will linger

When people recall his form

Mangled and tiny

Half dead when he was born

Tossed in a river

Like a stolen pile of trash

His body broken

His flank a bloody gash

But the hamster did not judge

For he new only love

My three legged hamster

Now a sacred dove

And the crowd all sings

Oh three legged hamster, your eyes so deep and blue

We all are so sorry, for what my sister did to you

Oh three legged hamster, your coat a shaggy brown

When the rains come tumbling, you will surely drown

(Alright, allow me to explain - when my sister discovered the hamster she had bought for her kids had suddenly, and mysteriously, produced a litter, she noticed one newborn unable to fend for itself. It grew progressively weaker and was certain to die. She did what Irish have always done, extracting the runt and sending it to a watery grave. As a child I can’t tell you how many newborn kittens “went to town” or how many calves “went to visit relatives in Kerry”. But I thought the little three legged hamster deserved to be remembered…no, I just wanted to make the kids laugh…)