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Spent a night at The Rail last week relaxing and mumbling with pals. A glimpse at the wrestling playing on the tube revealed a sight that quickly fascinated and then consumed all conversation.

See, there’s a dude in the stands, and he’s gone to the bother of creating a sign for the night’s big festivities. He’s a bit old for a sign, but we can commend him for showing the initiative and interest to develop a means to communicate with the night’s entertainers and the wide television audience. Right?

His sign reads, U Suck. That’s it.

A white sign with large black letters proclaiming a simple eternal truth. U Suck.

We marvelled as the sign was not lavished promiscuously, but rather hidden until moments deemed appropriate for its pithy clarion call. U Suck.

We began waiting for the moments when the mad genius would unfurl his banner, an indication that events in the ring had become disordered and in need of the stark, heavenly reminder that, hey, U Suck.

I became feverish with excitement. Here was the answer to all my difficulties with the modern world. I don’t want a series of confrontations, especially in the morning, but I can create a little sign that is quietly unfurled to indicate my protestations with specific events.

Bus driver is driving too slowly? He can look in his mirror and see my little sign suddenly bursting from my knapsack, letting him know, U Suck.

Cabbie takes you the long way home? Too tired to fight? Out comes the quick little notice of condemnation; U Suck.

Your bank, your coffee shop, at the airport or the dentist, it’s so simple to express your inner rage in a quiet and quick manner.

U Suck.

GRID IRON…I don’t have the energy to write extensively about Brett Favre and the annual “will he return this season” talk. Barring broken limbs he’s going to play, so why waste time speculating. Apparently I’m not the only one fatigued with the charade; Favre’s own agent, Bus Cook, lets the Viking QB have it in the current issue of Men’s Journal, venting, “(Expletive) why does he have to be such a (expletive) drama queen? Play, don’t play, (expletive) people are getting sick of it. I’m getting sick of it!”…Cook was aggrieved when Favre leaked information concerning a recent ankle surgery. The ex-packer clearly loves the limelight and is willing to use any means possible to snare some of that rapidly retracting glow…

…Baltimore QB Joe Flacco has spoken out against the Ravens recent signing of ex Ram Marc Bulger.  The veteran pivot, seriously on the downside of what was once a promising career, is to serve as a mentor to Flacco and could in no way challenge the incumbent for the starter’s role, so the outburst seems petty and unprofessional. Flacco claims he has fantastic chemistry with the current back-ups and doesn’t want that disrupted…

…the mysterious Sporting News Scouts have pegged the NFL’s three best running backs, in order, as Adrian Peterson (Vikes), Chris Johnson (Titans) and Steven Jackson (Rams). Jackson has my undying sympathy; he’s the best runner no one ever sees…

ICE…the big winners in the Ilya Kovalchuk sweepstakes were, yes, the Los Angeles Kings. They’ll be fine without the bloated contract awarded to a winger who has won one playoff game in his entire professional career…did Lou Lamoriello make the big splash with Kovalchuk in order to staunch the flow of player departures that has challenged the franchise in recent years? This is an enormous gamble for the Devils, one that could backfire and taint the Lou’s impeccable reputation…the Kings are another team, along with Toronto, who are kicking the tires on the Marc Savard express. Taking on the Bruin’s contract, after Savard was nearly decapitated last year, is another questionable move. Who knows what the crafty centre has left after suffering one of the most debilitating concussions in recent NHL history…not even going to start with the Simon Gagne situation. Stevie Y, do you know what you’re doing?…

..when Mike Modano was married a few years back he invited nary a teammate to his wedding. He did, however, invite the Dallas Star owner. Those in the know claim that story tells you everything you need to know about Mr Modano…

…has any players stock fallen as quickly as Sheldon Souray’s? The Edmonton Oilers can’t even give him away, due to the phat 5 million dollar a year cap hit. The Edmonton Journal speculates the oft injured D-Man will need to be bundled with a draft pick or a prospect in order to entice a team to take him off their hands…