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Back in the University days, I would love watching how wealth invariably found either wealth, or the suitable ornament. Clear skin, white shiny teeth, Polo jumpers and tight, expensive jeans, the gruesome scions of confiscated riches and degenerate bullies could spot their type at a miles distance. We would call their inevitable nuptials “Mergers”, not marriage

I’m astonished at the furor over the waylaid passions of Eldrick Woods, an empty suit, a purveyor of shallow baseless greed, an intellectual stump who hits a ball for a living. The man, with a crisp, clear corporate conscience, surveyed the surrounding flesh and correctly surmised a shiny blond accruement would satisfy commercial interests. Buoyant upon meeting whatever-her-name-is, Eldrick was concise and precise in the financial commitment he guaranteed for the rental, possibly for a lifetime, of a cozy Nordic womb. The resulting children promised the creation of the ultimate business accessory, a smiling, glistening family. That was the deal. It didn’t include love or even friendship. It was not meant to end with a golf club whack to the back of the head or contract terminating complications. Eldrick wanted, and bought and paid for, a blissful domestic scene, in a fashion similar to the way you and I pick out a stereo. A business deal gone wrong, happens all the time, certainly not the “sports story of the century”…I’m not convinced the travails of the Tiger even qualifies as a sports story, per se, until he misses a Major. All the rest is just gossip and chitchat…

My sporting hero growing up was Muhammad Ali. For the preceeding generation, it was likely Jim Brown. Both athletes gravitated to unpopular social causes and concurrent activism. I remember the dawn of the new age, with Shaq’s cool indifference, Wood’s entombment in a Nike ”swoosh” and Michael Jordan’s squalid devotion to a life of debauchment. The ascendancy of the corporate agenda, the base worship of the temporal, the need for more currency; these comprise the driving impulses of athletics in the 21^stcentury. Or maybe it always did, and the likes of Ali and Brown are the exceptions. But I couldn’t be motivated to care for a Tiger Woods, or even feel sorry for the shell of Jordan, a man consumed by bitterness and stupidity. The declaration, “I ain’t got no quarrel with them Viet Cong”, however, resonates with me to this day. A sentiment which cost the greatest heavyweight of all time his prime, and offered an approach that would have spared thousands their lives…

GRID IRON..the Indianapolis Colts have 29 players named on their injured list for tonight’s game against the Jacksonville Jaguars. Just how much effort the Colts will put into their remaining three games remains to be seen, but it’s clear the Jaggies should be able to continue their long established tendency of playing the Colts tough. Dwight Feeney on the sidelines is an enormous bonus for the Cats…somehow Chris Henry and “long, comfortable retirement” never went together. Hope the man has finally found peace after a lifetime of anti-social and destructive behaviour. And, oh yeah, he would occasionally catch a ball…with both teams carefully cultivating ground attacks, it is hard not to hit that phat 53.5 under in Saturdays New Orleans - Dallas showdown…the St Louis Rams cancelled their Thursday practice after at least two players were rumoured to have contracted swine flu. Honestly, just insert your own joke…the Detroit Lions have effectively ground their star pupil Matthew Stafford into hamburger. Stafford will be out Sunday and may require off season surgery…the Oakland Raiders apparently don’t plan to start QB J P Losman, their recent acquisition from the UFL Champion Las Vegas Locomotive. I loved watching Losman play for the Bills, he is the proverbial gun slinger and might have made music with Terrell, but apparently his foul attitude has consistently undermined his efforts to find NFL employment…

ICE..the intriguing winger Viktor Stalberg is back with the big team in Toronto…Buds have scratched defenseman Luke Schenn for three straight games…the usually reliable Phoenix ‘Yote Shane Doan is killing poolies everywhere with his anaemic 19 points in 34 games…and I may be in a minority, but Chicago Blackhawk defenseman Brian Campbell is sure killing me, with1 goal in the past 28 games…

PONIES.. the new head honcho of Woodbine gave an interview on the Fan 590 this week where he repeated the organization’s claims that any Canadian betting offshore is breaking the law. Could that be you and me, sister? Whoops, Nick Eaves doesn’t understand the issue. Or, he is wilfully obfuscating. According to the RCMP, betting with an establishment that had servers based on Canadian soil (not Native Reserves) would constitute an illegal enterprise. It is entirely legal for Canadian to bet on-line using organizations that have servers based in jurisdictions where their trade is lawful…

PUG LIFE..we have some good news from the scene of the Kelly Pavlik vs. some-other-guy promotion; the assembly went through their final press conference for Saturday’s fight and Kelly did not fall off a stage or order a round of tequila to the podium. The fight is over 30 bucks as a pay per view atrocity and shouldn’t sucker even a die hard. Kelly has a long way to go before reclaiming elite status. The temerity of his refusal to fight Paul Williams at Middleweight has been accentuated by the willingness of the best of the Super Middleweight division to roundly bash each other in an unfolding tournament of fistic delight. Under Pavlik, the middleweight division is withering…David Hayes seems to be holding to a course which would have him engage in hostilities (hug-ilities?) with John Ruiz in March or April. It is a mistake. Ruiz is an unwatchable bore that should have disappeared after being starched by David Tua ten years ago. But Ruiz is beloved by the WBA. The fight represents a dangerous proposition for Hayes becuase the WBA is an organization in desperate need of financial succour. Ruiz will play ball and allow the agonizing round robin with Valuev or Chagaev or some other dirt bag to continue, with resulting sanctioning fees, while Hayes can be expected to bolt to another sanctioning body the next time a Klitschko fight is offered…