Tuesday, December 8th, 2009...3:25 pm

Nay, Sir!; Foxy Knoxy Neither a Murderess Nor a Tramp (But Please, Honey, Let’s Clean Up After Potty Time)

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ICE..a Toronto Maple Leaf fan could perhaps be forgiven for watching last night’s game and imagining a starting line-up next year with Ilya Kovalchuk anchoring the top line and Nazim Kadri leading the second. Sweet Dreams, indeed…frustrated Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk called on his star players to play in a manner commensurate with their paystubs. Without Bob Gainey chewing on his backside, Alexei Kovalev has drifted back to the somnolent approach that traditionally characterized his play in the NHL. Kovalev has been placed on a new first line for the Senators, riding shotgun with Jason Spezza and Nick Foligno…suddenly ice cold; the Tampa Bay Lightning benched second year sniper Steve Stamkos during the final minutes of their 3-0 loss to Washington Monday night. Stamkos has one point in his past five games. His excellent work in the first 25 games of the season (29 points) appeared to have him on the verge of joining the Canadian Olympic team…it’s a record that as recently as five years ago was proclaimed as untouchable; Terry Sawchuk’s 103 career shutouts. Martin Brodeur tied the mark last night and delivered an exclamation mark on what has been a phenomenal year for the acclaimed goaltender. Besieged on all sides after a couple of questionable performances in playoff series the past two years, Brodeur seemed to have vacated his title as Canada’s top goalie. In an Olympic year, that crown has more than just ethereal currency. Scrap the retirement dinner and the anointing of Roberto Luongo as his successor. Brodeur has, implausibly, crafted a magnificent start to the season and is a lock to start between the pipes when the Vancouver festival gets underway…Brodeur leads all NHL goalies with 18 wins…hot on his heels with the second most recorded shutouts by an active goalie is Chris Osgood of the Detroit Red Wings. Osgood has 50…if the playoffs started today the Detroit Red Wings would be bystanders…Ilya Bryzgalov recorded his NHL leading fourth shutout of the season last night as his Phoenix Coyotes blanked the Minnesota Wild…Semyon Varlamov also had a shutout last night as the Washington Capitals blanked Tampa 3-0. Varlamov is quietly having an exceptional season, stifling the attempts of Jose Theodore to regain the starter’s role. Varlamov, a fascinating goalie to watch, is 7-0-2 in his last nine games…

GRID IRON..Baltimore quarterback Joe Flacco crapped out last night, going 15 of 36 for 137 yards while tossing 3 interceptions. The Ravens are regressing with the gradual decline of the all-world safety Ed Reed (unable to play last night) and the all-universe linebacker Ray Lewis. Okay, they’re not Superbowl contenders, but the lads still have one more game against their hated rivals, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and I’m looking forward to that game more than any other as a rather pedestrian season dwindles to the short strokes…the game last night was close to unwatchable with the refs calling an unconscionable 23 penalties. But underneath all the nonsense was the growing sense that Green Bay defensive coordinator Dom Capers is making significant progress with the much maligned unit. Capers had been on my “biggest disappointment list”, particularly after the Pack lost to Tampa, but the defence last night was aggressive and potent. With the offensive line suddenly protecting the peripatetic Aaron Rodgers, the Pack are becoming a very interesting squad…I suppose we’re supposed to salute the courage of rookie New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez who will wear two knee braces against the Bucs on Sunday. The uncompromising desire to have your “rookie” establish his bona fides in the areas of toughness and imperviousness to pain strike me as counterproductive and short-sighted. I consider the future of Matthew Stafford in Detroit as questionable after the abuse his own team has exposed him to in his initial campaign…

FOOTIE..Bono of U2 came out last week and did call for FIFA to allow either an Ireland-France replay, or to admit Ireland into the World Cup tournament. It was a gracious, glorious gesture by the rock star, one designed to at least assuage the pain of the small nation, a country that has been humbled by recent financial setbacks. At a concert at Croke park last summer Bono had proclaimed to his country-mates, “We’re smart and sexy and can do anything we put our minds too”.  Ireland did have cause to celebrate recently when their rugby squad vanquished world champion South Africa in a mist covered match in Dublin…

TURN LEFT..you’ve probably all received rewards of some sort through your life. I am deeply humbled and honoured to have received the prestigious NICE GUY WHO GETS SPRAYED WITH CHAMPAGNE award from my NASCAR pool-mates. Now, of course the reward tends to go to someone who finished out of the money but, heck, it’s a nice consolation all the same - choking up - okay, this achievement shows - tears streaming now - you like me, you really like me!…for the seventh year in a row fans named Dale Earnhardt Jr the games most popular driver. C’mon now, this certainly was the year when Mark Martin should have been accorded the trophy…68 days to Daytona…

FOXY KNOXY..Europeans and Americans alike were transfixed by the murder trial in Italy of those accused of killing English-student-abroad Meredith Kercher. The conviction of her flat-mate, Amanda Knox, threatens to trigger a diplomatic row as Knox, an American, was found guilty by an Italian jury apparently ill prepared to analyse actual evidence. The precepts of Italian justice dictated a snail like pace to the trial and precluded the sequestration of the jury. The media coverage of the incident was like something from the middle ages with Knox  pilloried for being promiscuous, a drug user, the owner of a sex toy (yeah, baby) and, apparently, a girl who would forget to flush the toilet (three of the four don’t strike me as particularly onerous, I’ll let you decide which one provokes the yuck! factor).  At the scene of the crime there was not even one minute shred of forensic evidence connecting Amanda Knox to the murder (one man, Rudy Guede, was convicted in a previous trial of first degree murder, and that should have been where the matter ended). A concocted prosecutorial rendering of what happened the fateful night was heavy on sex, revenge and malice, but completely and shamefully unsupported by evidence. Her conviction is a terrifying abuse of the judicial system and appears to have been the result of incendiary press coverage and latent anti-Americanism. A fair, intelligent person could not conceivably have voted “guilty” in this case. A travesty and one I hope can be overturned…by the way, Amanda’s diary revealed she has had seven sexual partners during the course of her young life. What a slut! Wait..seven? The she-demon of the Italian press wouldn’t even register on sexual mores lists of most American universities. The hatchet job on the character of the girl is just appalling and egregious…

1 Comment

  • You’ve got to love David Haye:

    “As far as the fight itself goes, it’s one of the most unappealing heavyweight title fights for a while - and that’s saying something.

    “The fact that a title fight between a Ukrainian and an American is being held in Switzerland tells you all you need to know about the appeal of this fight.

    “Heavyweight title fights should be huge events, not an after-thought in a country most famous for producing Toblerones.”