racingmeridian.com

Neighbours speculated that a black man who drove his SUV into a fire hydrant and a tree at 2.20am last night was probably “drunk or high on that rap music they all like”. Edith Brothweiser, 78, a resident of Windermere, Florida, was sipping Ballantines and watching old episodes of “Murder, She Wrote” when a series of loud noises disturbed her night. “I went to the window but I knew instantly that black man was probably throwing a wild sex party”.  Ms Brothweiser, a long time home owner in the gated community shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “We used to have standards. He’s hardly home and we’ve never seen him do a days work”. Judith Titsmore, 81, concurred with her friend concerning the character of the black man living across the street. “He has a white woman living with him. Just like O J. She is his wife or maybe his lead whore”, she stated gravelly. “I don’t think they marry”, Ms Brothweiser offered. The pair explained the man is probably a drug dealer, a pimp or an arms smuggler, but almost certainly also living on the avails of welfare and tax fraud. “No ambition, no values, no drive to succeed. Instead he’s out smashing up property at all hours of the morning”, Mrs Titsmore sadly intoned.

In unrelated news, Windermere resident Tiger Woods is reportedly recovering from a minor traffic accident.