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My heart raced at the news that Roald Dahl’s masterpiece “Fantastic Mr Fox” will be made into a big time Hollywood movie. You see, within the confines of that lovely tale rests one of my literary heroes. No, not the gentle badger, nor the vegetarian rabbits or the mysterious weasel. Not the moles. I am not infatuated with the wiles of the fox or the charm of his family. My attention always turns to the one creature in the book that chooses to live alone, that asks only to be left in “peace and quiet” and has only one need…booze. Lots and lots of booze.

It’s Rat, the true hero of the story.

A nihilist. A contrarian. A free thinking independent.

His first words in the story are, “Go away”, and he doesn’t get any friendlier. He’s not trying out for Disney. His only flash of humour is when Fox warns him about poison. Rat laughs and remarks he watches the woman put the poison down.

Rat’s only possession is a thin rubber hose he uses to suck cider out of jars in Bean’s storeroom. He’s constantly hammered and has no use whatsoever for the pleasantries of the other creatures in the hill. He’s not invited to their feast and damned if he cares.

When Fox calls him on his drunkenness, Rat tells him, “Mind your own business”.

Hollywood needs to give Rat his moment in the spotlight and cast him with care. No, not Nick Nolte. Let’s give Rat the high profile sex appeal an iconoclast of his stature deserves; please cast Colin Farrell as “The Rat”!

All hail the Rat and excuse me while I go slurp another glass of cider…

GRID IRON..Ben Roethlisberger is a go for Sunday nights Pittsburgh - Baltimore collision. Unfortunately, Steeler defender Troy Polamalu will not play. Writer Gerry Duloc  notes the Steeler defence has given up seven passing plays greater than 30 yards this season, none of them while their All Pro Safety was on the field…Daunte Culpepper is the probable starter for the Detroit Lions when they face Green Bay on Thanksgiving Thursday. After an emotional and draining last second comeback against Cleveland, the Lions, a pretty lousy team, should be in for a huge letdown performance. The spread has not been pegged yet but I’m prepared to be generous…the Atlanta Falcons were an amazing 8 of 10 on third down conversions in the second half against New York on Sunday. That’s running roughshod. Careful, these are not your 2007 New York Giants…Vince Young was a mere 12 of 22 for 116 yards through the air last night as his Tennessee Titans upset the Houston Texans 20-17. But he gained an excellent 73 yards on the ground with 11 carries and used his mobility to avoid pressure and sacks. The combination of a mobile QB and running savant Chris Johnson (29 carries for 151 yards) is proving very difficult to defend. The Titans have won four in a row but have a lively pair of opponents, the Arizona Cardinals and the Indianapolis Colts, up next…

ICE..Montreal goalie Carey Price, subjected to mockery from the agent of back-up goalie Jaroslav Halak, has responded with some stellar play; Price has let more than two goals past him only once in the Habs last seven…rumour making the rounds has Steve Yzerman lifting the San Jose Sharks line of Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau and Dany Heatley and dropping them “as is” into the Canadian Olympic roster… struggling Edmonton has lost eight of their last ten. Former Leaf coach Pat Quinn is currently behind the Oiler bench…the Chicago Blackhawks have found their way to the top of the Sporting News power poll. With Marian Hossa about to join their line-up, could the Hawks be on the verge of becoming the League’s elite franchise?…

PUG LIFE..Evander Holyfield has reportedly signed to fight Francois Botha on January 16^th in Kampala, Uganda. At stake will be the WBF World Heavyweight Championship. Given there are two WBF’s, we are unable to ascertain exactly which organization has the decrepit pair of scrappers ranked in their top two. Unless one of them is already champion. Who knows, who cares. Botha’s last fight of import was a mere seven years ago, in 2002, when he was drubbed by Vladimir Klitschko. Holyfield last fought, and I use that word advisedly, against Nikolai Valuev in December of 2008. Sounds like a classic. Pay per view arrangements are being made for North America. You’ve been warned…the inevitability of a Manny Pacquiao - Floyd Mayweather fight is being proclaimed by the sports world, and I agree it will happen. It’s worth noting, however, that circumstance has occasionally prevented the making of highly anticipated match-ups (and in boxing those circumstances can include everything from religious conversion to rape). Some fights I’d loved to have seen include Roberto Duran - Alexis Arguello, Salvador Sanchez - Alexis Arguello, Joe Frazier - Earnie Shavers (c’mon, for the sheer fun of it!), Sugar Ray Leonard - Aaron Pryor, Roberto Duran - Tony Ayala, George Foreman - Larry Holmes,  George Foreman - Mike Tyson, Michael Dokes - Larry Holmes, Marvin Hagler - Michael Spinks, Gerald McClellan - Roy Jones Jr, Chris Eubanks (Steve Collins, Nigel Benn) - Roy Jones Jr, Lennox Lewis - Riddick Bowe, Lennox Lewis - Ike Ibeabuchi…