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It’s a hockey fairytale; a series of events so improbable as to beggar belief. But let’s try to roll this one past you. A famous hockey player, Greedzky, becomes implicated in a major gambling scandal. Trembling, his perfect image about to be shredded, the Grate Greedzky comes up with the most intriguing of strategies; he throws his wife under the bus. Though the Greedzky name is associated with bets totalling in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, it is trumpeted to the innocent and gullible that the notorious rogue using the Greedzky name was, in fact, his wife. Janbet Greedzky. Mainstream media stands on their hind legs and applauds. Fast forward. Life goes smoothly for the Grate Greedzky until the team he coaches, the Wasteland Wild Dogs, encounters serious financial difficulties. No matter, Greedzky has a contract protecting his financial interests. The National Headhunting League steps in and purchases the franchise. The League, however, simply ignores the eight million dollars owed to Greedzky. Stunned silence from the mainstream media. Litigation and outrage will certainly follow. Nope. Greedzky darts into the night. Now, could it be that a certain Commissioner, already embarrassed and humiliated by the plummeting value of the desert franchise, made a late night call to the Grate One? A call where the circumstances and dimensions of the gambling ring were discussed? A call where the Commish lets slip that authorities were well aware that the betting activities included the ultimate taboo, wagers on hockey? Could the call have concluded with a friendly, smug reminder that the “wife” cover story would evaporate like the Kansas City Scouts if Greedzky didn’t wave his monies and revert to his “smile and wave” routine? Preposterous, you say. And I agree. It’s just a NHL 2009 fairytale, a mess of rampant speculation and baseless innuendo…(though that eight million, strangely enough, never did get paid)…

THE RAIL..It was a greeting I had never encountered before. The Beat Poet pulled into the Rail last night and commented, “I had a really hard time getting you out of my bathtub Sunday morning”. Pause. Flood of memories. Uh-oh.

After the Pacquiao - Cotto fight a post-match cocktail at the residence of said Poet was clearly in order. Nice bottle of wine. Then an even nicer bottle of vodka. Then some spontaneous boxing lessons in the living room. Then the tequila…and an apparent attempt to sleep off the merriment in a bath. I do not, I mean DO NOT, want to even mention the missing cat and the chicken pot pie. A night with the Beat Poet can take you on the most bizarre and unlikely adventures. I wouldn’t have it any other way…

GRID IRON..Chris Simms is certain to start for the Denver on Sunday as the Bronco’s collide with the San Diego Chargers in an important match. Simms is an NFL rarity, a left handed quarterback. Denver has one of the top left tackles in the NFL, Ryan Clady, but his purpose as the minder of the “blind side” is undermined by the presence of a southpaw QB. Watch to see if the Bronco’s move Clady to the right side of the line to deal with this peculiarity…Jason Peters will start at LT for the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday. Buffalo traded the two time Pro Bowler in a move that lives as a testament to the Bills commitment to short sighted, counterproductive moves. You just don’t trade an All Pro LT…

ICE..the Toronto Maple Leafs now regularly send me e-mails the day before home games hawking tickets at up to 50% off . The problem is the inherent cost of a Leaf ducat is so prohibitive that even the discounted price leaves me dizzy…

TURN LEFT..very quietly, the Jeremy Mayfield - NASCAR legal battle is developing some interesting permutations. Mayfield is adamant that he never used crystal meth. The parade of witnesses NASCAR promised to introduce to counter his denials turned out to be as credible as Jimmy Swaggart in a brothel. Now NASCAR has fired their law firm. Mayfield has hinted that he was scapegoated as a warning to the more powerful teams to clean up their act. Could their be a drug problem in NASCAR? Why do I get the feeling this case is going to be settled before the dirty laundry flaps in the exhaust…

PUG LIFE..some gruesome news from the David Hayes camp; apparently after a coma inducing match-up with the repugnant John Ruiz, the WBA #1 contender, the Englishman will be contractually obligated to grant Nikolai Valuev a rematch. While putting coin in his pocket, that pair of fights is going to stall his career momentum and seriously delay any exposure to the American market. Haye should toss the belt in the garbage and head to New York…Ricky Hatton is rumoured to be returning this summer to battle Juan Manuel Marquez. Ricky mined every ounce of his talent, was beloved by fans and scored at least two mega paydays. There is not a hope in Hades of Hatton ever beating an elite level fighter. Continuing his fistic journey on the heels of two brutal knockout losses is unnecessary and dangerous….Art Manteris of Station Casinos in Las Vegas had a very interesting tale to tell after opening the betting on a proposed Floyd Mayweather - Manny Pacquiao fight. The sports book opened Pacquiao as the favourite and, according to Manteris, quickly booked several wagers in the 20k range on Mayweather. All the bets, apparently, were from professional gamblers. The plot thickens. It appears many knowledgeable punters believe Money’s immaculate skill set will be more than a match for the Filipino terror…