Wednesday, September 9th, 2009...1:32 pm

Can Media Monkeys Lead You To Those Phat Scores?

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GRID IRON..thorough previews of the NFL season can be found on the ESPN, S I and Sporting News sites. I find the “preview” stage frustrating and annoying. If the NFL was as predictable and dull as these experts made it seem, who would watch? Despite the dramatics of last years Miami Dolphins, Baltimore Ravens and Atlanta Falcons, teams that stormed the ramparts with little or no advance warning, 2009 pro pickers opt to huddle in safe little cliques and offer a parade of the usual suspects. Wasn’t it just last year that the no-hope Arizona Cardinals went into the Superbowl? That Tennessee peeled off a 13-3 surprise? The psychology of these prognosticators is simply amazing. In order to avoid being singled out, in order to avoid being criticized for being wrong, even the heaviest of media hitters will not stray from the traditional powers. So, enjoy the reading but definitely be aware the gutless and the sheep will never lead you to a big score. Nope, they’ll lead you to the poorhouse. But at least you’ll have lots of company…ICE..tomorrow, when an auction will be held in Arizona for a certain professional sports team, should be a big day for Jim Balsillie and the NHL. My take is that a bankruptcy judge is mandated to protect the interests of the creditors, period. Bearing that in mind, it is going to be fascinating to watch how the Phoenix Coyote case is resolved. You have a bid for 212 million smackers and a bid for 140 million bucks. Is it that simple? Not when one bid who remove the asset from what may be legally compelling lease obligations. Look, Balsillie muscled this case in the direction of a bankruptcy proceeding with the most Machiavellian of intentions. And, bluntly, why should the judge tomorrow weigh the future of sports franchises, or Board of Governor edicts, in his judgement? He is a bankruptcy judge, period. He should follow his mandate and award the club to Balsillie. The NHL can then use its legal machinations to deal with their rogue owner. Tomorrow should, then, be about collecting the best possible return on a sick asset. Nothing more…St Louis Blue President John Davidson was succinct when asked if the Blues were in the hunt for disgruntled Ottawa Senator Dany Heatley. “I don’t think the Blues should rebuild somebody else’s franchise”. Davidson is determined to grow his exceptional young talent, not trade the pieces away for a malcontent…if Heatley arrives in Ottawa it will surely constitute the most bitter locker-room since Gary Leeman spent his nights in Leaf land banging fellow players “significant others”…PONIES..has the form of an animal ever been so emphatically endorsed as was Rachel Alexandra’s by the 2009 Travers? Follow this, mates; in the Haskell Stakes, Rachel beat the 2009 Belmont Stakes winner, Summer Bird, by a widening six lengths. In his next start, Summer Bird traveled to Saratoga and annexed the prestigious “Midsummer Derby”, the Travers, dealing a blow to the nation’s best collection of three year olds. Rachel towers over this group. Her owners decision to bypass the Travers in order to face older competitors was brazen and oh so correct…Equidaily has posted a video of crowd reaction as Rachel and Macho Uno battled down the stretch at Saratoga in the Woodward Stakes. It’s spine tingling stuff, an explosive crowd reaction rivalling the response of a throng anywhere this side of a U2 show…I went to the NTRA site last night and watched all available videos of Rachel. What, exactly, do we have in this monster? No filly has been able to come within eight lengths of her this season. I can’t think of any thoroughbred, including Ruffian and Secretariat, that has ever so categorically dominated its age and sex group. The “good old days”, friends, are unfolding right in front of our naked steaming eyes…MEDIA..finally saw “The Hangover” and I must say it was well worth the wait. It broke barriers with scenes so bizarre and unexpected that one is reduced to howling laughter through the whole damn film. Can’t wait to see it again. The look on Mike Tyson’s face as one dude pees in his pool while another humps his tiger is priceless…Britney can be seen on You Tube performing “You Outta Know” live from a recent concert. Interesting. Did I mention she sang live? When I saw her in Toronto she looked like a bloated Stepford Wife, barely able to negotiate the required lip synching gymnastics. That was then. In the Now, she looks attractive, healthy and engaged. Hey, no Madonna, but it’s cool to see her on the upside for once…currently reading Faulkner’s Light In August, an American classic that received a boost with an improbable selection by the Oprah book club a few years back. Must say I am enjoying it six billion times more than I thought likely. Beneath the expansive prose William was a crackling good story teller. Ultimately, it is the compulsive narrative that renders Faulkner a genius. I could do with the prose turned down to, say, a seven, instead of cranked to eleven but, hey kids, I’m no English Professor. I have to work for a living…

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