Monday, August 10th, 2009...1:23 pm

Cuddling the Porcelain Throne; Maddawg Creates Another Memory

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I was just desperate to see football last night. After a  l  o  n  g  off season the NFL preseason was kicked off by the Hall of Fame game. It was a fairly interesting affair, highlighted by the contradictory performances of Terrell Owens and Vince Young. Owens was bang on, catching two lasers thrown his way on the Bills first drive. Young is in free fall, exhibiting overwhelming regression. Both players figure to be in the news this year. Owens will rattle the Bills cage as he begins to comprehend the intellectual limitations of Bills head coach Dick Jauron. Young, on the other hand, will be a high profile casualty. There is no upside to keeping an underachiever who blames everyone else for his repeated failures…Tennessee starter Kerry Collins was 7 of 10 for 82 yards. He looked in mid-season form and that speaks positively to the Titans chances for a successful 2009…is it too early for Kansas City to be worrying about quarterback Matt Cassells? Away from the soothing admonitions of the formidable New England Patriot organization the new addition is struggling mightily for the lacklustre Chiefs…Peter King of S I is touting Minnesota Viking wideout Percy Harvin as a potential rookie of the year. Raves all round for the ultra quick receiver and just one more positive vibe emanating from the Minny camp…three athletes who should can their “comeback” talk; Jeff George, Evander Holyfield and Theo Fleury…Phil Esposito suggests Patrick Kane’s nickname should be “Twenty Cent”… Arturo Gatti’s estate is valued at 5 million dollars. Exactly who will claim the money could become extremely contentious. Apparently the infamous second will, which gave 100% of Gatti’s assets to his wife Amanda Rodrigues, contains a serious error. The will states that no prenup agreement existed between Gatti and Rodrigues, a claim that is demonstrably false. It appears the Gatti family may have a strong claim to allow the first will, which provides for his mother and children, to stand. It also appears that Rodrigues attempted to access a stock account containing half a million dollars the day before Gatti was killed. The New York Daily News is to be commended for their work in keeping this horrific case in the public eye. Shamefully, the local media has simply let the tale of a Canadian killed abroad fade away…Zenyatta took the Clement L Hirsch Stakes at Del Mar yesterday, scorching her final quarter in 22.49 seconds to get up by a short head. The undefeated runner continues to race, however, in the shadow of three year old Rachel Alexandra. There are no plans at the moment to match the two sensational females…Canada’s Horse of the Year, speed merchant Fatal Bullet, threw a clunker at Saratoga yesterday. The colt brought up the rear in a high class Stakes and seemed to underline a dislike for dirt. The Bullet thrives on the poly, the surface which will be employed in the Breeders Cup Sprint from Santa Anita this year…real treat for local racing nuts with the announcement that Met Mile Bridon winner will be in Rexdale for the Sept 19th Woodbine Mile. The colt tuned up on the grass yesterday at the Spa and is all systems go for an assault on the million dollar pot…Cristian Ronaldo sure looks subdued for a fellow who has apparently achieved his life long dream by joining Real Madrid. The “world’s greatest player” graced the Big Smoke with his presence last week but the amicable, smiling Ronaldo of Man U appears to be a memory…just when I think I’ve seen it all; enjoying the Taste of the Danforth festival Friday night, and what a wicked party it was, I noted the absence of my companion, the Maddawg. Strange. Then I noticed the absence of my knapsack. Even stranger. I went to Lenny, the esteemed proprietor of the Rails and Ales, and explained my predicament. A few minutes later Lenny beckoned for me to follow him. Uh oh. Curled around the downstairs toilet was the soundly snoozing Maddawg. His pillow? My knapsack. It’s a pretty ugly picture, one I won’t soon get over. Alls well that ends well, but this does explain why my backpack took a much needed run though the washer and dryer Saturday…Madonna’s new single, Celebration, is simply sensational…

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