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Thirty per cent of 18-25 year olds currently believe the moon landing was faked. Interesting. Here’s the real story. Neil Armstrong was a member of the same fraternity as yours truly. He was a boozy, unemployed actor in 1968, crashing on friend’s couches and, occasionally, park benches. Intelligent and charismatic, the underachiever caught the attention of “observers” when, over the course of six months, he remained undefeated in the chess tournaments he organized in urine and filth drenched suburban parking lots. NASA approached the down on his luck vagrant and offered overnight redemption. Armstrong would be given a brand new past, the role of an “astronaut”, and a crucial role in the greatest hoax in the history of the world. Armstrong agreed to play his part and the rest is, as they say, invented history. Armstrong only ever revealed the dimensions of the swindle to his fraternity brothers. In the midst of a deep depression, and burdened with a conscience shredded by his collusion with the unsavoury aspects of the American government, Armstrong took three fraternity brothers to the studio in Burbank where the moon landing was faked. In a mind blowing hour and a half tour, Armstrong demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt that man never did reach the moon. The secret has been passed down in fraternity lore. The studio, which was going to be used for subsequent “landings”, had to be destroyed when rumours of Armstrong’s treachery surfaced. Man never claimed to reach the moon again…in the basement of the Phi Delta Theta fraternity house in Toronto are three of the “moon rocks” the frat brothers removed from the Burbank studio. They are carefully laid beside a picture of the brothers, dressed in polo shirts and blue jeans, standing on the moon landscape in the exact spot where Armstrong landed. In the back of the picture you can see Armstrong on his knees, hands clenched, tears streaming, thick, rich chunks of vomit coating the front of his shirt…the Sporting News released their NFL predictions today - jump the gun much? Here are their division winners; Patriots, Steelers, Colts and Chargers from the AFC, Giants, Vikings, Falcons and Cardinals from the NFC. Their selections are remarkably conservative. People would not be so slavishly devoted to the gridiron if events unfolded with such inevitability. I’m not ready to offer my division picks just yet but you can be sure my call will amount to far more than a recitation of the favourites…I’ve never been a Brett Favre fan, and the QB seems to be cultivating a grower number of haters. But, if he takes over in Minnesota, he is absolutely going to excel. The Vikings are a turbo charged juggernaut poised for a breakout season. Damn that Favre, but a move to the Vikes will have the peripatetic beer guzzler on the top of the sporting world…the New England Patriots quietly added wide receiver Joey Galloway to their roster, a move that could pay enormous dividends when a healthy Tom Brady begins tossing bombs again. Galloway can barely walk due to the condition of his knees, but he can fly on the field. He has suffered in Tampa while on the end of a series of pivots who could not throw an accurate deep ball. With Moss on one side and Galloway on the other the Pats are going to be very difficult to defend…ecstatic to read low life Jamario Moon is headed out of the Big Smoke. Piss off Jamario, and good riddance…the Toronto Blue Jays are averaging 23,663 patrons per home game, 26^th in the 32 team league. On the roads the Blue jays are currently the worst draw in baseball, drawing 25,915 patrons per game. Tops, both at home with 45,356 average attendees, and on the road with an average draw of 35,747, are the Yankees of New York…TSN is showing Arturo Gatti’s 1995 fight with Tracy Harris Patterson tonight at 7pm. I’ve e-mailed the network and asked them to show Gatti’s three fight series with Mickey Ward as a tribute to the late, lamented warrior. Canadian fight fans remain just heartbroken over Thunder’s demise and are feeling very protective over his image and reputation. The absurd assertion that Gatti committed suicide will be refuted by a dispassionate analysis of the evidence. Remember, Gatti had a wound on the back of his head, possibly as the result of being stabbed. The recent assertion that his lifeless body may have fallen on the knife is preposterous and not worthy of discussion. He was murdered and his killer should be brought to justice. Ominous rumblings on the streets of Montreal promise his wife will be held accountable for what she did, whether through the courts or otherwise…