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Bill Simmons of ESPN is one of the funniest writers alive. When I began reading his current piece on the death of his six year old Golden Retriever I thought, no way, now how, can he pull this off, the proverbial “My dog just died” tearjerker. Gulp…you need to read the piece. There is a harrowing moment when his young daughter wanders out of the house and onto the street, and only the protective intervention of the dog saves her life. Read the piece tough guy, but read it alone, you’ll be sobbing by the end….the record for the hardest shot recorded at All Star weekend is still held by Skatin’ Al Iafrate, clocked at a sizzling 105.2 mph…Gary Bettman is forcing the injured Sydney Crosby to attend the all star festivities in Montreal this weekend. This is crazy funny! Crosby is out of the game due to injury, but is being compelled to “smile and wave” to the locals in an effort to promote the League. Bettman has promised to suspend any player who is selected to the game but does not make an appearance at the associated events…Senator goalie Martin Gerber cleared waivers, throwing his future as an NHL player into doubt. Gerber could be sent to the minors or, possibly, an exit strategy could be created which would let him leave for Europe. Gerber is on the books for 3.7 million this season…Mats Seldom is a minus 3 for the Vancouver Canucks after participating in seven games. Maybe if they paid him more money?…in 1974 the Pittsburgh Steelers drafted four future Hall of Famers; Lynn Swan, Jack Lambert, John Stallworth and Mike Webster. Here’s hoping Brian Burke enjoys similar success with the Toronto Maple Leafs…Steeler backup Byron Leftwich is a free agent at the end of the season. He has been resolute and stoic while patrolling the sidelines this year, indicative of a refreshing change in attitude and approach. He deserves a shot at becoming a starter again…other QB’s available this off-season include J P Losman and Rex Grossman. Yep, that’s like choosing between Jeff George and Mark Rypien…Dan Reeves is interviewing for the San Francisco 49er offensive co-ordinator position. Now, the former Falcon and Broncos coach would be terrific in that role, but what a loss for radio junkies. The easy going but ferociously intelligent man is sensational as an analyst. Indeed, he is often the only reason to keep the headphones on as a game deteriorates into a blow-out…desperate for good news, Raptors fans can take comfort in the return Friday of Jose Calderon…John Daly has pulled out of the Dubai Desert Classic. This is the third consecutive tournament Daly has entered and then bailed. Something’s brewing (pun intended) for the troubled golfer…Lance Armstrong is 39^th overall, 29 seconds off the lead, in the Tour Down Under. The cyclist is finding his legs and progressing nicely but, of course, the long term goal is the Tour De France so don’t expect a miracle finish in Australia…Hatton - Pacquiao? Apparently back on with a 52-48 split in the Pacman’s favour…