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New Orleans coach Sean Payton began the Superbowl quite conservatively. Keeping Drew Brees in shackles, Payton initially made some tepid efforts at establishing a ground game. As the game went on you could almost sense Payton’s confidence growing. If he was overwhelmed and a bit shell-shocked by the magnitude of the game in the first quarter, well, by the second the Saints coach seemed to grasp this was a game he could win. When he let Brees fire up his air game, the Saints improved by leaps and bounds. As expected, Dwight Feeney was the most important player on the field. When he was effective early in the game he mocked Jermon Bushrod’s attempt to control him. As his health began to unravel and his play deteriorated, a swagger began to infect the Saints offense. After Feeney’s second quarter sack, the Colts didn’t manage another takedown for the rest of the game (if Feeney had been healthy the whole game there may have been a different outcome - his absence allowed Drew Brees to outplay Peyton Manning). As for the head coaches, well, that was kind of like Mike Tyson against a stuffed toy. As Sean Payton worked through his nerves and found the verve and initiative to add punch to his game plan, Jim Caldwell looked forlorn and simply hoped his stud QB could pull one out. No answer, no brainstorm, nobody home in that confused, tubby body…

GRID IRON…the most tedious first half in Superbowl history was followed by maybe the best. The NFL is often conservative and rarely do we get jaw dropping moments of complete surprise - but the on-side kick to start the second half was the most astounding play I’ve ever seen. Completely unexpected, the entire game tilted after New Orleans recovered the kick and then marched down the field to score a touchdown…at times the game looked like a tribute to Steve Young with the emphasis on short, high percentage passes. Most of the game those who had the “under” (and I salute you) were calm and relaxed. From the time the games first two possessions generated a meagre three points those of us requiring 58 were pretty fatalistic…my favourite Superbowl remains the epic 2008 New York Giant upset of the New England Patriots…not my finest weekend. I spent three days imbibing vast quantities of Nyquil in an effort to get over a vicious cold. I feel more messed up today than if I had spent the weekend boozing - which will be the game plan, hopefully, for next Sunday and the Daytona 500…I thought The Who were very good. The gig would have been smoother if an audience was allowed to congregate around the stage instead of a collection of exploding lights. No, didn’t need to see Townshend’s gut every time he wind milled, but I thought the power and the importance of the band resonated throughout their sharp, well articulated set…is there such thing as a Nyquil hangover? Seriously, I’m feeling morose, reflective and close to launching into a 10 page treatise on why I still consider Earl Campbell the finest running back of all time (did I hear a hell yeah!)…

ICE…I’ll say it - I was so impressed with the way the Toronto Maple Leafs stepped up their game last night in the face of the tragedy that has enveloped Brian Burke and his family. Class guys like Kessel, Giguere, Phaneuf and Kaberle, they know what to do; you do what you can. Everything at this time is a gesture, nothing more. But I love people with the fortitude and respect to at least make that gesture…a salute to Brendan Burke. The man displayed enormous courage in facing down the prevailing norms of the cloistered hockey culture and is deserving of accolades and praise. R I P, young man…

GRID IRON…New Orleans plus the points (look around, it ranges from 3.5 to 5.5 as I write; no 6’s to be found) and the over…Bill Simmons of ESPN, in the name of god, get off your knees! After his embarrassing over-the-top profession of love for LeBron James, Simmons bizarrely proclaims Peyton Manning’s work against the 9-7 New York Jets in the AFC Championship as the QB’s defining moment. Slow down, cowboy. There was no “great” defense in football this year; Manning was very good, sure, but the top moment of his career? Is Simmons losing it? Could he have possibly mentioned in his column that Drew Brees had a better year than Manning and should have received the NFL’s MVP? Or is he too busy mythologizing the Colt pivot?…Simmons mail bag, however, is absolutely killer. The last two letters are among the funniest he’s published…

PONIES…lovely Rachel Alexandra had her second work of 2010 at the Fair Grounds yesterday, loping an easy half mile in 50.3. Media hacks are putting pressure on her owner Jess Jackson to commit to an April 3^rd showdown with Zenyatta, but that date is too early for the champ. Oaklawn staged a publicity coup with their 5 million dollar offer but Jackson must stick to his guns and do what is in the best interests of Rachel…Quality Road accounted for the Donn yesterday at Gulfstream in emphatic fashion. The four year old has always been touted as one with immense talent and the key to a successful year will be his ability to remain healthy. The Road runs the way a good horse should; up front with a gallop ferocious enough to burn off the speed yet with enough class to withhold the late movers. After Rachel dispatches the California Cow this summer, a showdown with Quality will likely become the most anticipated race of the year…Santa Anita was washed out yesterday, causing a cancellation of the Robert Lewis Stakes. Punters were eager to get a glimpse of Bob Baffert’s Tiz Chrome, a highly regarded colt looking to impact the Road to the Roses…

PUG LIFE…quite an interesting night for fight fans; lightweight champ Edwin Valero (27-0, 27 KO’s), unbeaten and spectacular, looked like Charlie Manson as he devoured Antonio DeMarco in Mexico. Valero is under the radar in the U S, largely due to medical issues and matters of “moral turpitude” (dude likes to drink and drive), but he is astonishing when in the squared circle…Tomasz Adamek (40-1 27 KO’s) had a nice twelve round win over Jason Estrada in New Jersey. Adamek is replete with heart and courage and also, strangely, an absolutely ripped 220 lb body. The former light heavy has retooled and will certainly demolish fat bastard Chris Arreola if their rumoured fight comes off. After that, in a division bereft of contenders, a title shot of some sort would be inevitable…Canada has an interesting slugger in David Lemieux (21-0 20 KO’s). The brawler went the distance in Montreal with Jason Naugler yesterday, but that can actually be a good development. The first time a bomber is extended it is beneficial if the opponent is limited. The experience is of enormous assistance in evaluating stamina and heart and, it appears, Lemieux is, at the minimum, an interesting newcomer to the Montreal scene. He’s in good hands and has been handled with care and caution…bad management makes fights like this; Kelly Pavlik has signed to fight fast, crafty Sergio Martinez on April 17^th. No upside for Kelly here, but the real possibility of being beaten if he is not at 100%…

With six minutes to go in last nights Leafs game it was expected and normal that the mind would begin to wander. The sports fan, we agree, is allowed and encouraged to luxuriate in moments of fantasy and expectation. Phaneuf and Beauchemin? One of the top five defensive pairings in the NHL. Yeah, baby. Jonas Gustavsson? A gem, a seven foot tall Swedish jewel whose skills and talents are only truly appreciated by the die-hards who watch every game - yeah, bring on that smug, self satisfied smile. Then, of course, the important matter. The glorious future. How badly were the Leafs going to hammer the Ottawa Senators Saturday night? Yeah, it’s okay, let’s look ahead a little, let’s savour the promise of tomorrow night - with Giguere fresh and ready, could another shutout be in the offing? And guess what, the win tomorrow would give us three in a row, and suddenly the playoffs were in our grasp, just waiting for our arrival. Yes, six minutes to go and Leaf Nation was on rapture mode, grinning at Kovalchuk, dissing Parise and, in a moment of generosity, expressing concern that our shellacking of Martin Brodeur could impact his ability to shoulder the burden as Canada’s starting goaltender at the 2010 Olympics. The odd Leaf fan perhaps chuckled and thought, Roberto Luongo should be thanking us; after our demolition job he’s a cinch to be starting in the Olympics. Six minutes to go, and Leaf Nation was soaring. Six minutes to go and Leaf Nation was revising their expectations - Stanley Cup in five years? No, let’s make that three. Hell yeah, Kadri grinning as Kessel hands him the Cup. Six minutes to go, this Leaf fan had his coat on, ready to go down to the Rail, ready to rejoice, ready to stoke the fervour, ready to rhapsodize and turn tonight’s effort into poetry…

   …nails scraping through human flesh, oozing blood. A hoarse wail, a bloody fist slamming through the plaster of a living room wall. A thin trickle of red wandering from the nose. Chunks of steaming vomit splayed across a battered television. Six minute after last night’s game. Hot anguish and scalding tears shredding a visage soaked with bile and slippery mucous. Repetitive thuds of a shattered, splintered knee puncturing the frayed covering of a living room couch. Six minutes after the most wretched, soul devouring franchise in the history of sports committed just the latest atrocity, just the most recent ball twisting, ovary crushing, femur snapping, and eyeball grinding obscenity. The Leafs are; a disease, an intestine rupturing affliction that sodomizes dreams and pumps illness into plump, unquestioning veins. A franchise born of the devil’s desire to torment and afflict, an expression of the existence of the depraved, a bellow of the insane and the betrayer - your Toronto Maple Leafs…the franchise cast from the heavens and placed on earth as an impetus to wrench your very eyeballs from the cracked remnants of a throbbing skull…

   The Toronto Maple Leafs host the Ottawa Senators Saturday night in a match sure to be an ACC classic! The red hot Senators will tangle with a Leaf squad bolstered by the addition of perennial all star Dion Phaneuf and magnificent goaltender J S Giguere. Your Buds are sure to be at their very best after a narrow loss in a thriller in New Jersey last night! The Battle of Ontario will be hard fought! You must not miss it! If your wife tells you to miss it, kill her! If your children are a distraction, send them to Haiti! It is Leaf Nation, and your presence is warmly requested…or savagely demanded! So be at the ACC or in front of your TV set, just stop your whining and watch the god-damn game! ‘Kay! GO LEAFS GO!!!

GRID IRON..Warren Sapp and Chris Collinsworth have echoed my sentiments from yesterday; if Dwight Feeney is hobbled or out, the New Orleans Saints are bolstered immensely in their chances of winning Sunday. Both Sapp and Collinsworth pick the Saints to win outright if Feeney is hobbled. It is a fascinating development and one that requires a great deal of thought. How will the Colts pressure Brees without their demonic heart? With DB Bob Sanders long gone, can a defence, in these days of caps and parity, be effective without their two best players? Reflect on how the vaunted Pittsburgh Steeler defence floundered with the absence of their heart, Troy Polamalu…is it possible that close calls will go to the new “America’s Team”, the Saints? Do referees, either with malice or just because of the enormous emotion of the event, influence the outcome? Anyone bet Seattle against Pittsburgh a few years back? Still grumbling?…here’s the skinny - the New Orleans Saints changed their offense during the latter stages of the 2009 season in order to maximize protection of Drew Brees. The Saints staggered as players repeatedly blew coverage and seemed uncomfortable with the conservative bent. With Feeney out, and the rest of the Colts line as amiable as puppies (slap your groin if you just said Robert Mathis), Brees can find his swagger again. Flood lanes, look deep, exploit mismatches - a slugfest looms in Miami with an emancipated Brees able to slam the Saints into full throttle. This one is going over, and we’ll make the dastardly, and potentially unwise, decision to change our pick. Feeney’s out, Brees struts, take the 5.5 points…

ICE..despite notching a shutout in his first start as a Toronto Maple Leaf, J S Giguere will be on the bench tonight as Jonas Gustavsson gets the start against the New Jersey Devils…the addition of Ilya Kovalchuk to the Devils line-up makes tonight must-see TV…Don Waddell has been the General Manager of the Atlanta Thrashers for their entire existence, nine wretched seasons. He has a consistent record of mediocrity and his bounty for moving Kovalchuk, amazingly, is even skimpier than the bucket of soap shavings he received for Marian Hossa two years ago. Waddell’s cronies in the media are putting on a brave front, but how could you expect Kovalchuk to sign with a team that has made the playoffs only once in their existence and, further, considered the addition of Nik Antropov an inducement for Kovalchuk to stay in the South? Lou Lamoriello looks like a genius with this move. He moved an above average defenseman for a superstar, meaning even if he fails to gets Kovalchuk’s signature on a contract he still wins the deal…

PONIES..Andrew Beyer’s decision to become a part time writer a few years back dealt horse racing coverage in North America a blow it has never quite recovered from. The only writer covering the ponies with the integrity to call out the drug cheats and the courage to challenge outlandish management decisions, Beyer now writes sparingly. No one his filled the immense vacuum his departure from full time writing left. As an extravagance, check out his contribution in the Washington Post today. His elegant writing is a long way from the frat boy fun of a Bill Simmons, but his poignant reflection on Hialeah racetrack is evocative and moving. Beyer being Beyer, he can’t help slipping in a devastating shot at Frank Stronach, a potent punch that had me longing for the day when we could count on a regular Beyer contribution…

GRID IRON..can’t shake the feeling that people are underestimating the effect Dwight Feeney’s absence may have on the Indianapolis Colts in this weekend’s Superbowl. Feeney’s boisterous excursions into the opposition’s territory allow the Colts to create a serious rush using only their line. Without a 100% Feeney, the whole outlook of their D must be changed. It is not outlandish to suggest Feeney’s status could be a critical factor in the Superbowl. For instance, the Tennessee Titans without Albert Haynesworth were seriously diminished - with their one man wrecking crew absent, they had to change their approach and bring in an assortment of blitzes. The Colts are facing the same conundrum without a healthy Feeney. In order to get pressure on Drew Brees, a must, they are going to have to alter the fundamental nature of their attack. Not something you want to have to do against New Orleans, not something you want to have to do in the season’s most important game. A match-up that bored me is slowly attracting my interest, and any confirmation that Feeney has been ruled out will pique my interest in the Saints…

ICE..Craig Custance of the Sporting News is reporting the Tomas Kaberle for Jeff Carter trade is being talked about again. The Philadelphia Flyers, as devoted to suitors in the Ilya Kovalchuk sweepstakes, could be making allot of noise as we approach the trade deadline. Acquiring Carter obviously makes enormous sense for Brain Burke and the Toronto Maple Leafs… Custance also believes trades involving Garnet Exelby and Alexi Ponikarovsky are imminent…the new top line in Calgary is Niklas Hagman, Matt Stajan and Jerome Iginla. Stajan scored off a pass from Iginla last night but, no, this is not going to end well for the Flames. Iginla may beat Stajan to death before the season ends…Olli Jokinen was brought to the New York Rangers to play alongside Marion Gaborik, this despite his failure to mesh with Jarome Iginla in Calgary. Well, the Blueshirts watched their new top line for two periods and have now dumped Jokinen to the second line with Ryan Callahan and Brandon Dubinsky…Jason Blake is paired with Saku Koivu and Teemu Selanne in Anaheim. He was pointless in his first game (pun intended - his entire existence is pointless)…Henrik Sedin’s lead in the NHL scoring race has shrunk to a single point. Alex the Great is yapping at the Swede’s heels…Detroit is back on the outside of the Western Conference playoff race. Team Sweden is accusing the Red Wings of rushing Johan Franzen back to action because of their tenuous position in the standings. Team Sweden should mind their own damned business…is Carey Price’s charmed life as a Hab coming to an end? Jaroslav Halak has started five of the Canadiens last six games and has been excellent…why would the Philadelphia Flyers tell their number one goalie, Ray Emery, not to even bother dressing last night if, as they claim, he is not injured? Something going on with Mr Emery?…

PUG LIFE..there is just such a shadow cast over the May 1^st  Floyd Mayweather - Shane Mosley fight that it is difficult to feel any enthusiasm. Mayweather launched a vicious assault on Manny Pacquiao, a fighter that has never failed a drug test, nor one who had been tarnished by whispers and innuendo (something that has certainly changed after the Team Mayweather attack), and then cancels that fight to face a confirmed cheat? As Serena Williams would exclaim, “Are you serious?” What Mosley will show up? The bedraggled specimen who struggled against Ricardo Mayorga, or the well oiled fighting machine that demolished Antonio Margarito. And, critically, just what will determine which model of Mosley we see on May 1^st? The machinations of this fight, a Golden Boy umbrella cast over the combatants, conjure dark suspicions and unsettling reservations. Count me out. Mosley has campaigned long and hard for this lucrative payday and the circumstance surrounding his achievement (the collapse of two fights was required), seems rather mysterious. I’ll be very interested in tracking the betting patterns. Yes, Mayweather signed after the inclusion of a “guaranteed rematch” clause should he lose, but I perceive that as a red herring. A vigorous program of drug testing will likely reveal a severely diminished Mosley on the first Saturday in May, one whom will be easily swept aside by “Money”…I like HBO’s nixing of Jesse Brinkley as an opponent for Lucian Bute on their April 17^th broadcast. Canadian Bute has been told to gear up for a dose of Edison Miranda, a ferocious offensive fighter, if he wants a taste of the Home Box Office coin. Miranda is the closest thing the middleweights have to a “gatekeeper” at the moment. He has been vulnerable against the division’s best but a tremendous opponent for just about anyone else…perennial heavyweight contender John Ruiz has spoken out in favour of a lifetime ban for Antonio Margarito. Didn’t know John had the stones…

PONIES..Oaklawn has offered five freakin’ million dollars for the April 3rd Apple Blossom Handicap if Rachel Alexandra and Zenyatta both agree to show. Don’t be tempted, my queen! Resting Rachel won’t be at her peak until summer…ominous bit of news for racetrack managers; Harrah’s Entertainment has purportedly offered the state of Iowa 49 million bucks if they agree to let the company run their “racino’, uh, without the racing. Harrah’s wants to ditch dog racing and just run their lucrative slots. Horse industry officials, I assure you, are going to be watching this anxiously, the famed ”thin edge of the wedge” deal. The slots subsidize racing and Harrah’s has crafted an argument that questions this arrangement.  Legislative allowances have traditionally been made for horse and dog racing. The struggling industries invited the devil (slots) in for dinner, and it appears he’s going to want the menu changed. Live animals are labour intensive and costly. Metal machines spit out enormous profits without being fed or contacting viruses. A very interesting development and one sure to be played out  across North America in the coming years…believe me, on the backstretch in Toronto one of the most common discussions concerning Woodbine Entertainment centres around the question; are they just stupid? Or are they trying to put us out of business?…the prohibitive takeout rates in horse racing are killing any potential growth. A novice gambler has so much information at his/her fingertips these days. One is quickly acquainted with the “juice” that is extracted from the pot and, with rates ranging up to 28%, horse racing is no longer competitive. Its death spiral is an inevitability unless a new model is created…

MEDIA..hmmm, Ticketmaster is currently offering a two-for-one deal on Mariah Carey tickets for her Feb 9^th ACC show. The configuration for the gig also doesn’t employ the whole stadium, instead offering that “intimate bowl” layout. Is Mimi having trouble moving tickets? All the cool kids, I’m told, will be at Laura Marling’s show at Lee’s Palace that night. No, I was never that cool, and I do need my Diva fix…

ICE.. I suppose the “stats brigade” upbraided Cliff Fletcher for trading that goal machine Gary Leeman for undersized Doug Gilmour back in 1992; as a matter of fact, I remember them doing precisely that, as I tried to explain what a watershed moment for the franchise the acquisition of “Killer” represented. Over a decade later, I’m still meeting the same dweebs. Lads, it was four bags of hockey pucks for an elite defenseman. The Leafs won this trade hands down…Bob McKenzie suggests on the TSN site that Ian White is a better player than Dion Phaneuf. Appalling (well, once I stopped laughing). This man covers hockey for a living and he is not capable of putting the stats sheets away to actually watch the game? White is useful, kind of a poor man’s Mark Streit, and fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs put up with his repeated gaffes because of an “everyman” quality he seemed to embody. He’s the kind of player you find on bad teams, a kind of hard working yokel that fans can cheer for. He’s an entertaining donkey, while Phaneuf is a world class thoroughbred…the “other Alex”, Alexander Semin, has 17 points in the last ten games for the Washington Capitals…

 PUG LIFE..thankfully, it looks like Bob Arum has backed off his threat to put the immensely unpopular Antonio Margarito on the undercard of the March 13^thManny Pacquiao - Joshua Clottey battle. Margarito’s claim that he was unaware his hands were “loaded” holds no water whatsoever for anyone who has ever wrapped their fists. Fighters are notorious for wanting their wraps applied in a particular fashion and it is ludicrous to suggest Margarito wasn’t completely aware of  the permutations of any substance going on his fists…the bad news, however, is that the undercard is typical Bob Arum; lousy. Arum believes that people pay for the main event and the undercard has no impact on final sales. It is a short sighted and unfortunate view. The undercard will feature the ancient Jose Luis Castillo in a welterweight fight and the wildly popular, and overrated, John Duddy in a middleweight scrap… Bernard Hopkins and Roy Jones Jr is a go for April 3^rd. Plans to have Amir Khan featured on the undercard have been scuttled, making the night one for the masochists only…Khan will now likely headline a card from Las Vegas in May against Juan Manuel Marquez. That’s a pretty intriguing fight with the Khan camp, perhaps, putting too much stock in the Mexicans futile effort against Floyd Mayweather. In his previous fight, against Juan Diaz, Marquez looked stellar, and he could be quite a handful for Khan. The Englishman has looked like dynamite in his last couple, but always arrives with those nagging concerns about his ability to take a punch…

PONIES..following the trail to the Kentucky Derby is one of the richest experiences available to a sports fan. The pathos of the journey is captivating, with the highs and lows aptly illustrated by the adventures of Winslow Homer. The colt burst into top ten lists with a hard fought win in the Holy Bull Stakes two weeks back but came up sore yesterday and has been ruled out of the May 1^strace. One moment you’re on top of the Twin Spires, the next just a bystander as other contenders march by…Jennifer Morrison advises two Canadian runners could end up on the Kentucky Derby trail; Hotep, a full brother to Queen’s Plate winner Eye of the Leopard, and Hollinger, an unbeaten colt…whispers have Oaklawn Park on the verge of tossing bushels of cash around to induce Horse of the Year Rachel Alexandra and Zenyatta, the California Cow, to meet in the April 3^rdApple Blossom Handicap. With Rachel just getting back to work, the schedule does seem a bit tight. I still think Saratoga in July, in the Go For Wand, presents the first realistic date for the pair to rumble…

GRID IRON..Mike Chappell of The Sporting News suggests that Dwight Feeney is almost as important to the Indianapolis Colt defence as Peyton Manning is to their vaunted offence. Feeney is “questionable” for the Superbowl and a recent ESPN report suggested he is dealing with a torn ligament. If Feeney can’t play, or is unable to play well, the New Orleans Saints will have caught a massive break…wait, was the Pro Bowl yesterday? Nope, didn’t watch a down. If the game was on in the afternoon that would be fine, but a late start surely doomed the affair. The Diva’s I wanted to watch last night were wearing sequins and tight skirts…Jay Cutler and Mike Martz met in Nashville on Saturday night. Martz is almost certain to be the Chicago Bear offensive coordinator next year, a move that can only help the beleaguered Bears mine the talent of their slumping quarterback…

ICE..four bags of pucks are moved for an elite player - and the Toronto Maple Leafs are on the right side of the deal? Fantastic, the Burke regime is in full flourish after two brilliant trades Sunday. Let me start with the best part of the deals; Jason Blake and Vesa Toskala are off the roster. I can ruminate and mull over that joyous development for hours. The fact the two dead-weights are moved in the same deal, a move that also shores up the goaltending situation with the acquisition of J S Giguere, is proof of the sagacity of the much maligned Leaf GM. The acquisition of Dion Phaneuf looks like this; it’s a schoolyard and you just keep peeling off those dreg hockey cards until you acquire something of value. At the end, Burke is the bright kid, holding a Bobby Orr rookie card, while Sutter is the dopey lad leaving with an assortment of California Golden Seals and Kansas City Scouts. Sometimes it’s just that straightforward. Doug Gilmour redux? You betcha. Phaneuf will thrive now that he has been released from the clutches of the challenged Sutter clan. His omission from the Canadian Olympic team will spurn him to greater achievement, and the trade to Toronto will be the impetus for his acceptance of a leadership role, and possibly the captaincy, of the Buds. What a steal. Dion Phaneuf of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Sounds good, is going to look even better…

PUG LIFE.. Art Manteris of Station Casinos reports his book is still taking bets on a Floyd Mayweather - Manny Pacquiao fight. Floyd is currently -120 while the Pac Man is at evens. Interestingly, Pacquiao opened as a solid favourite at -160 but has seen his stock fall as punters wagered enthusiastically on Mayweather. While both fighters are taking on tough foes in the coming weeks, I’d expect both to prevail and get around to settling their “Blood Feud” in the fall…the blood feud moniker is the name suggested by Dan Rafael of ESPN for their historic clash. It’s perfect…while Mayweather and Pacquiao can be safely assumed to be able for, respectively, a “clean” Shane Mosley and Joshua Clottey, another proposed big fight has no such assurances. I’m puzzled that the Paul Williams - Kelly Pavlik fight has not been revived. The Pavlik camp should jump at the opportunity to fight Williams, a battle well within Kelly’s scope if he is fit and motivated. Instead, Pavlik is close to signing a fight against the slick Sergio Martinez, a fight where, at the minimum, Pavlik will likely look bad. An off night and Pavlik may not lay a glove on the speedy Martinez. Williams, on the other hand, is looking at a May 8^th engagement with hard punching Kermit Cintron. A very dangerous opponent for the Punisher. Cintron was blitzed twice by Antonio Margarito and has been looking for a suitable spot to announce his still abundant talent. Williams is inconsistent and could be vulnerable to Kermit’s charged offense and newly developed boxing “smarts”…

PONIES..Rachel Alexandra appeared on the work tab this weekend for the first time since her historic win in the Woodward Stakes last September. The champ strolled through a half mile in 52 flat and is probably a good eight weeks away from her four year old debut…thanks to the rashness of West Coast decision makers, Zenyatta will likely start in a race named after her. The Lady’s Secret Stakes was renamed in Zenyatta’s honour after the mare accounted for the Breeders Cup Classic and is considered a possibility for the six year old…

GRAMMIES..ooh la la, indeed. The highlight of the night was the passionate rendition of Speechless/Your Song by the immaculate duo of Elton John and Lady GaGa. Gorgeous voices (sans backing tracks and electronic gimmickry), dramatic fashion and profound mutual respect had the show off to a gripping start, but the early momentum was bungled by some subpar performances…sorry, Beyonce, the military theme of your performance was inappropriate and unwelcome. And why the hell are you spending so much time pondering what it would be like to be a boy? And why does none of it make any sense? Sexy woman, embrace your bodacious self and move beyond the mediocre songs that occasionally strangle your set list…Black Eyed Peas - uh-oh. Tinny voices, out of breath gasps, Fergie’s growing ass, all combined for an unsettling performance. This is the group that wants to unseat U2 as the world’s biggest band? Sadly, it appears the Peas do their best work in a studio. Their live appearances verge on atrocious…massive props to Taylor Swift for the inclusion of the wondrous Stevie Nicks in her brief set. When Swift’s band launched into “Rhiannon” I was momentarily disoriented and confused. Then out marched Ms Nicks, clad in elegant black, dripping with tastefully cropped silver bracelets and charms. The gesture was magnificent and if the pair didn’t mesh quite as seamlessly as was hoped, well at least a torch of sorts was passed with class and dignity (and no swapping of spit..though..come to think of it…hmmm)…Eminem’s performance was destroyed by the enthusiastic application of the censor’s “drop” button. Every time a word that may have been off-colour was enunciated, wham, the sound of the broadcast was lost for up to seven seconds. It was grating and annoying, with huge chunks of the performance blacked out…no, I don’t want to piss everyone off so I’ll bypass mentioning the excruciatingly banal “Earth Song” and its accompanying video, which was apparently created by Michael Jackson and featured luxuriant close-ups of supine children. El creepo, not missing you at all…

MEDIA..must recommend today’s article in The Onion entitled, “Bald Eagle Tired of Everyone Just Assuming It Supports War”. The rather erudite fellow notes, “I’m not a hawk or a dove. I’m an eagle”. He goes on to bemoan the fact that every time he lands on a flagpole to discuss issues, crowds erupt in U S A! chants…another article proclaims, “Bunch of Phonies Mourn J D Salinger”…

G N R…for those who are curious, Guns N Roses started their set at the ACC last night at 11.35pm. Unconscionable bastards. By the time they finished, at 2am, on the coldest night of the year thus far, subway service was finished and thousands were left roaming the downtown trying to find a cab or a night bus to squeeze on. The reason for the late start? Axl Rose, who came on stage in a wheelchair, said the band had partied a little too hard after last night’s Montreal show. No, I didn’t attend; though that’s largely due to a course I’m taking on Thursday nights. Little did I know I could have returned from class, slept for a couple of hours, and still made the show. Glad I didn’t. Herewith ends my fascination with Mr Rose. The final indignity? The band didn’t perform Civil War, their best and most enduring song…

CONTRAST..way back in 1979, when Elton John was riding a series of number 1 albums to the very crest of superstardom, I attended, with my sister, one of his concerts at the old CNE grounds. Before the show began Toronto was hit by an absolutely hellacious rain storm, just about the worst downpour I can remember. We were huddled in the stands, absolutely soaked, with the plastic el-cheapo chairs collecting water in freezing cold puddles under your arse. Abominable conditions. Out walked Elton, without his band. He explained his band was delayed because of the weather, but did we mind if he began alone? He said, “I feel so sorry for you poor wet things, that I’d like to begin the show”. At the time I thought it was showmanship, or a ruse, but later interviews confirmed his band had been travelling separately and had been unable to land at the Toronto airport. Man, what an extraordinary show, with Elton working his way through Captain Fantastic solo before his band came running on stage. Decades later, I was astonished to discover Elton had put that show among his top 5 “most memorable ever”…now, I have also seen the worst of Elton. A show I attended in Dublin, again with my sister, was for a time the chart topper among fans in the category of Elton’s “worst show ever”. It was so appallingly bad, with Elton frightening the band to the extent they were literally disappearing off the stage, that it turned, if you know what I mean, into a “good” show, one you were happy to have seen. He was a snarling, angry mess, and loquacious in describing how he “loathed” Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and would never play Ireland again, instead confining future concerts to the grounds at Watford (WTF?!). It was worth every penny to see the “Diva” play his part to the hilt…

G N R..Axl and his mates performed in Montreal last night. Because of the bands proclivity for late starts, they were politely informed that some adjustment might need to be made given the Montreal Metro’s (subway) closing time of close to 1am. Fans need to get home, right? Instead of starting the show at a reasonable time, say 9pm, the start time remained 10.45pm but they did trim six songs from the set list to wrap up earlier. Pricks…

GRID IRON..interesting points by the S N Scouts; they allow that Peyton Manning deserves consideration as the best of all time. The consensus, from the Scouts and others, seems to be a belief that the New Orleans Saints need to find a way to run the ball, escaping a toe -to - toe aerial slugfest with Indy’s offense. The Scouts also report that the Dwight Feeney vs. Jermon Bushrod battle on the Saints offensive line has the potential to be a mismatch in favour of Indy’s all pro rusher. Duh. I’m still waiting for someone to come up with a compelling case for the Saints. If Brees was in top form, an argument for an upset could possibly be crafted. But the Saints are in the doldrums, relying on a rescue from the village idiot and the refs to get past the Vikes…

ICE..the press are going to be all over the simmering feud between Montreal Canadiens Andrei Markov and Carey Price. Markov reportedly told Price to “stay home” if he wasn’t going to play “with heart”. Price has just a brutal reputation “on the street” but continues to be idolized in the mainstream media.  Markhov, as the team’s leader and top D Man, did the right thing in bringing the situation to a head. Jaroslav Halak, the puck stopping back-up, has been outplaying Price for over a year now…the Washington Capitals have an interesting challenge with injuries to both Jose Theodore and Semyon Varalmov. The Caps will be going with a couple of rookies but, with the way they’re playing at the moment (eight wins in a row), it’s probably not going to matter…Toronto Maple Leaf Garnet Exelby had a terrific pre-season, using smart and aggressive play to secure a spot on the Leaf roster. His playing time was curtailed when the season started and now he rarely plays. I’m not sure why. He certainly has outplayed many of the starting defenseman but seems to have earned a spot in Coach Ron Wilson’s doghouse. Exelby plays hard and dishes out hits, attributes sorely lacking on the squad recently. Is Wilson allowing a personal dislike to influence his selection of the starting roster?…the Chicago Blackhawks play the San Jose Sharks tonight in a battle that could foreshadow the 2010 Western Conference final (just saying it could, though we all know the Sharks are going to, gag, gag, CHOKE)…uh oh, Ryan Miller outplayed Martin Brodeur last night (albeit, in a shootout) as his Buffalo sabres beat the New Jersey Devils 2-1. The pair will face-off in the Olympics when the U S plays Canada, hopefully with a different outcome…

MEDIA..Pete Townshend let the cat out of the bag concerning the The Who’s Superbowl set list. It will be a medley consisting of Baba O’Reilly, Pinball Wizard, the close of Tommy, Who Are You and Won’t Get Fooled Again…it’s not going to come close to topping Prince’s majestic turn as the host of halftime…the other great appearance was U2’s post 9/11 performance, with the names of those who perished in the destruction of the Twin Towers passing across a luminous screen while the band played Where The Streets Have No Name…okay, I’d followed the Tampa Bay Buccaneers forever when they finally made their first start in the Great Game. The Bucs had a shaky start before gaining control of the match. I was overjoyed, hammered and emotional as Shania Twain took the stage. The story of how the hero of Timmins used to entertain pub goers at last call when she was very young, the tragic episodes of her life, my beloved Bucs on the verge of crushing the Oakland Raiders - all swirled around and created a maelstrom of passion and, well, you’re buddy, the Racing Meridian, unleashed a torrent of tears as Twain warbled some forgettable ditty. Most  embarrassing  moment  ever…the British Bookmaker William Hill is offering 1-4 odds that Tiger will play in the April Masters (bet 4 bucks to win 1). With rumours Tiger is close to reconciliation with the blond thing that gave birth to his children, it seems a pretty safe bet. Incidentally, Gerald Posner, on The Daily Beast, has the definitive account of what happened on the night of the infamous 911 call. Tiger comes off as a bit of a dork…seventeen days to the Daytona 500…

PUG LIFE.. no surprise here when Manny Pacquiao’s opening price of -400 for his fight with Joshua Clottey collapsed to -290 after a flood of money on the challenger.  I understand the punter’s reasoning. It would say, look, Manny’s first two ventures north of 140 may not be as impressive as they appear at first glance. Why? Well, first, Oscar De La Hoya was clearly past his prime, clearly ill equipped as an older fighter to cope with the speed of the dynamic Pac Man. Second, Miguel Cotto, a large welter, was forced to drop to two pounds below 147, as a condition of getting the fight and, in hindsight, may have been softened up by the savage beating he endured at the hands of Antonio Margarito. Following this route of logic (and, frankly, logic may not the the word you were thinking), it could well be that Joshua Clottey, at 147, may be the toughest challenge the Filipino has ever faced. Also, Pac Man could have motivation problems after botched negotiations with Floyd Mayweather killed the pair$ dream fight.  March 13^th is the night of a lifetime for the African. The word on the street never lies, and the sharp move in the lines speaks to the desire of many sharpies to bet Clottey. It’s going to be a great, competitive fight, but here’s the skinny; Clottey has shown a propensity to “spit the bit” in his most important fights. If he had shown greater determination, he likely would have received the nod in his last fight against Cotto. The reason I would lay off betting this fight is because I would not trust Clottey to launch a “pedal to the metal”, all out assault on the champion. He will keep it close, and competitive, but the utter commitment of Pacquiao to getting the win, at any cost, will likely see him surviving a very stern test…a week ago the Floyd Mayweather and Shane Mosley camps were bubbly with the prospects of their fight on May 1st. Since then..nothing. Are “Money” and Papa Floyd aghast at the startling hypocrisy of replacing Pacquiao with a confirmed drug cheat? Or, as darker rumours suggest, is Mayweather genuinely determined to avoid the very best of the welterweight division. Mayweather has battled chronically sore hands and he used that ailment as the reason for an earlier retirement. He may be facing physical issues that he elects to keep private. Either way, a September engagement with Pacquiao, tune-up or not, is still the predicted date for the superfight…

THE RAIL..It’s not often you sit down for a pint and the fellow next to you volunteers he’s just out of jail after serving a six year manslaughter sentence. Cool (extricate yourself now! alarm raging in your brain). A pleasant conversation ensued where I was taken through the various 9/11 conspiracy theories and, of course, sucker punched with the ludicrous assertion that certain members of a certain group were called en masse and told to stay home from work the day before the planes hit the towers. Ugh. (An aside, if you think Internet rubbish like “Loose Change” does not influence certain people, you are wrong). Now this fine, esteemed member of the human race did detail that his conviction resulted from a bar fight where his pal, now deceased, attacked him with a knife. Five minutes with this guy and I was looking for a Smith & Wesson product…thanks to my homegirl Natasha for the timely save. He butted out of our conversation when the lovely Natasha convulsed with laughter at every inanity coming out of his mouth. Sometimes all it takes to disarm a situation is a beautiful woman…

ICE..in some ways the Toronto Maple Leafs putrid effort against Los Angeles last night represented a new low. The positives remain the play of Tomas Kaberle and Jonas Gustavsson but little else is even remotely inspiring. I am not in the crowd willing to pitch Brian Burke overboard for the Phil Kessel trade. The fact remains that a draft choice is not a guarantee of an NHL player, let alone a star, and Kessel represents an elite talent who can remain in the organization for over a decade. That trade is not the issue. It appears Burke seriously overvalued the talent of his offseason acquisitions, particularly Francois Beauchemin and Mike Komisarek.  Additionally, who could have predicted Vesa Toskala’s fetish for inconsistent, uneven play? A work in progress indeed but, as Len stated on his generally excellent stint on The Fan last night, it is just so frustrating to see a team like Buffalo constantly replenish their ranks with highly skilled, highly motivated players while Toronto staggers through a parade of mediocrities. There is no alternative but to wait for Burke’s next move. And, oh yeah, keep the faith…

THE RACKET..I ended up watching Serena William’s amazing comeback against Victoria Azarenka from the Australian Open last night. Serena lost the first set and was trailing 0-4 in the second when she suddenly, and rather ferociously, found her absolute best and dealt series after series of monster shots. The psychological dimensions of the match were breathtaking, as Serena seemed to grow, surging in confidence, while Azarenka wilted, at one point dropping her racquet. Interestingly, this is the second year in a row the pair have met in the Open, and in both matches Azarenka shot out to a quick lead, taking the first set, before the sheer emotional heft of Williams seemed to reach out and crush her…if Serena ever wanted to go out on a date with me, well, I would be willing. Just, you know, throwing that out there…I once wrote a spectacularly vulgar poem entitled, “Serena Will You Whack My Balls”. (Serena is a champion, the best in the world, so why the authorities always messin’ wit my girl?)…(Serena I dreamt you ran, just like Niagara Falls, girl, pick up that racquet, and whack my balls)…I’ll try to find it, back in the day I had bouts of modesty and thought it best to keep the masterpiece private…those days, the days of modesty, are clearly long gone…

PUG LIFE..who didn’t see this coming; Evander Holyfield has pulled out of his February excursion to Uganda where the 47 year old was scheduled to fight Frans Botha.  The “Real Deal” did not receive promised advance payments and has opted to take a fight in the U S in March, rather than travel to Africa. Holyfield is taking a hammering in boxing forums after his status as a long-time steroid user was revealed in a recent Thomas Hauser column. The man’s reputation is in tatters, further impugned by his proliferate breeding habits. Commander Vander has turned into a joke…to this point no American TV Network has picked up the March 20^th Vladimir Klitschko - Eddie Chambers fight…

ANOTHER ONE WORD REVIEW OF A JAMES CAMERON MOVIE..Shitanic…